The loss of someone close to you or someone that you’ve known for most of your life or even someone you worked with is a tough pill to swallow. Over the space of six days, I have learnt that two persons whom I have known have moved onto the next phase of their life. Yes, the next phase. Death. It makes no sense but it is part of our journey.

On Good Friday, I learnt of the death of one of my school mates. We went to both primary and secondary school together and he was one of the most friendly, jovial persons I have ever known. He always had a smile on his face whenever I saw him; a smile with his signature dimples. Finding out he died hit me like a tonne of bricks because even though we rarely saw each other, when we did, he would never pass me straight.

The last time I saw him was at church for New Year’s. He was with his family and he was as joyful and vibrant as ever with his daughter in tow. It truly saddened me to learn of his passing. And worse, he went and was sent off and then I knew. This tugged at my heartstrings for all of Good Friday and I had to console myself that he is probably resting with the Lord.

Then today, after a meeting at work, I received a message from one of my ex-work colleagues (well, my friend now) that one of our ex-coworkers passed away and her funeral was taking place as she sent this message. I immediately called her to find out because this also devastated me.

She and I used to work in the same department together and all of the members loved her. And now that she’s gone I remember one of our members who was shot and killed last year and I was traumatised because he was such a caring and compassionate person. He was a casualty of the war between gangs. His death also left a bitter taste in my being.

Anyway, she was always outgoing and friendly and pretty sarcastic too. I liked the sarcasm, especially when it was aimed at the manager. All of these deaths further compounded my aching sadness as I lack the zeal to get overly excited at Avengers Endgame that is here.

My cousin, who passed away last year was an avid fan and would call me up as soon as the trailers were out to talk excitedly about what could happen, how the trailer was real bad, how he could not wait to see it and now that he is no more, there is no more excitement to be had, no more phone calls, no planning to go to the movies to see it, no… nothing.

These days there is a deep abyss of sadness etched into my world. Nothing is ever the same after the death of a loved one. You keep on living but it’s never the same.

However, I’m glad that I was able to be a part of the lives of those who have moved on and hope that I can live on and live a life that is always, always pleasing to God.