One of my parting gifts from my previous job was a gift certificate for a massage and a sauna at The Beauty and Body Spa. When I finally found the certificate after I had cleaned up the desk, (because I had misplaced it), I decided to schedule the appointment to cash in on what was supposed to be a day to pamper myself. So, I called them up, made the appointment and got myself prepped for the day.

Finding the place was not easy. First of all, I passed the street that it was on and then when I finally got onto the appropriate street, I couldn’t seem to find the building. I kept walking and walking and walking and still I did not see this place in sight. I must have looked at the certificate a million times to ensure that I was on the correct street and looking at the house numbers to ensure that I find the place.

When I got to the end of the street, I still did not see the place so I decided to call. I was greeted by a not so friendly voice and when I asked her where exactly the place was and what colour was the building, she asked me where I was. Then she goes on to say that there was a parking lot in front of the building so that should automatically tell me that I had found the place. Really? Sooooo, if the entire street had buildings with parking lots, I guess all of them would be The Beauty and Body Spa. I decided to cross the street and to start to inspect the buildings closer and it was then I realised that I had found the place because I saw the sign, a very small sign I might add, hidden from the view of the road by one of the cars in the parking lot, of the name of the said establishment.

I was already annoyed but I let it slide. How on earth do they expect people to find their organisation if the sign is as small as a personal pizza? Seriously. Then, when I got inside, I acknowledged the receptionist and then handed her the gift certificate. She unceremoniously told me to have a seat without even verifying that I was indeed the person who came bearing the certificate. So basically, any female could have walked in there with the certificate bearing my name and would have gotten a swedish massage and sauna all for free.

While waiting to be attended to, I looked around the place. It seemed like an okay establishment. Then, the person who was to be my masseuse, came and told me to follow her. As usual, I was told to remove my jewelry and whatnot and place those in a locker. Then I was asked if I wanted to take a shower. Huh? Why would I want to shower before all of those oils go onto my skin? I thought to myself, which was then followed up by another question, if I took a shower before I got there. Am, of course I took a shower, I mean, why wouldn’t I take a shower? Seriously?

So, we go into the room and she leaves and I undress. I laid down and waited for her to return. She came back and started her routine, with of course, oils, oils and yes more oils. But I know that is how it goes hence the reason not to take another shower especially since I had to shower before sauna. Smh. After about twenty minutes, it was over and she just stayed in the room. I was thinking, isn’t she supposed to leave while I organise for my sauna? Anyway, she finally gives me a towel for me to wrap myself in and tells me that I needed to remove my remaining piece of underwear to go take a shower and afterwards, I needed to leave my skin wet and go into the sauna. Buuuuhhh!! When last I checked, you’re supposed to dry your skin before going into the sauna. I mean, how can I sweat when I am wet? Dum dum dummm…

You see, these people thought that I did not know about the order of these things but I played the fool to fool the fool that tried to fool me and boy did it work. So, I showered and then I went into the sauna, wet I might add, since I am keeping up the game, and just sat there and shook my head. I knew that I would not be recommending anyone to go there at all. I probably stayed for approximately twenty minutes and then I decided to roll out. I didn’t even bother to shower again, I just wanted to leave, so I just threw my clothes on, grabbed my shit from the locker and left. During this time, no one came to check to see if I was alive and the masseuse didn’t even know when I left and the receptionist was busy being non-acknowledging as usual, so it was all good.

While I do thank my previous coworkers for the lovely idea they had, it seemed that the customer service at the place they chose was little to non-existent, with wrong information given to me about the order of saunas and the masseuse not doing the professional thing to leave the room after she had finished her job to allow me to get myself in order for the sauna.

All in all, it was not a pleasant experience and I certainly will not be going back there again. Thank goodness that I didn’t bear this cost. However, I did lose something more precious to me, that being time, time that I could have spent doing other productive things. Last year, I also tried another popular day spa, spent a bunch of money for myself and Evil Senpai, since it was a present for him really, and it wasn’t good either.

Going forward, I will go back to the first person I ever went to, to get a massage, that being Natalie Yearwood and her establishment where ‘It’s ALL about YOU’, because she knows her stuff and her massage therapy is and has been the best that I ever and believe I will ever have.