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Week-end Dernier

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I realised something very important last weekend and that is that my life is truly not my own. There are so many lives counting on my existence here on this earth and this has jolted me back to the land of the living. Sometimes I don’t believe I am as strong as people think that I am but it seems that to my friends, I am a pillar of strength, a vision of happiness and cheer that I never knew existed in my being.

All I do is listen with an open mind and an open heart and try not to judge others and be the best me that I can be. Sometimes I think that I have not accomplished anything in life and that I have been around for so long and yet I have nothing to show for it. But I do! So many wonderful friends, friends who I don’t have much time for because of my busy schedule but still ones that believe that I help to shape and make a difference in their lives even though I think that I don’t.

Even my family has a need for me even though all I do when I am at home is sleep. Sleep is awesome! And then the love of my life, who I am still learning about day by day, but who is the most fantastic and wonderful person to have ever wandered into my path is very supportive of me and never judges me or others. His ways and thinking are quite different to mine, but deep down inside, he is the most beautiful and handsome creature there is and I love him very much.

And so, every time I feel like total crap, I need to read this to myself to know that my life is not my own. It does not belong to me. It belongs to the Holy Spirit and it belongs to my friends and family and I cannot allow myself to be despondent or let things rattle me to the point of utmost depression. Sometimes I know it can’t be helped but this is my letter to myself to let me know, all is never lost; I am missed and most importantly of all; I am loved!